Emily and Andy

Our Letter

Hello!

First, thank you for your consideration. We know this process involves loss and challenge for both expectant parent and child. We do not take becoming adoptive parents lightly, and we do not take the decisions in front of you lightly either. We committed to honoring expectant parents the moment we began considering adoption, and we hope that you feel cared for throughout whatever decisions you make. We, as a couple, will demonstrate unconditional respect of expectant parents through our words, actions, and interactions.

Our story began in 2013 at the University of Cincinnati. We learned we shared a love for music, being active, and the outdoors; our first dates included live music, watching classic movies, and traveling to the beach. 10 years after meeting, Andy proposed on Chicago’s lake shore path! Shortly after getting engaged, Emily was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, underwent an urgent surgery, and started chemotherapyAndy’s unconditional love and care demonstrated our vows of in sickness and in health.” We married cancer free on 9/28/24 in Hyde Park

Emily is a 33-year-old child and family therapist at a therapeutic school with a master’s in psychology, where she works with children ages 9-19 years old, and facilitates parent support group. She identified and developed her care for children early on as a nanny, babysitter and summer camp counselor. Andy is 31-years-old, and earned his master’s in economics and works in finance for a utility company. He’s risen to the leadership role of Vice President of Finance, overseeing water companies in several states from his home officeHis adventures include fishing, camping, backpacking, playing baseball and basketballand spending time at his family’s cabin in Northern Minnesota

Now that Emily is healthy, and we are ready to grow our family, we are hoping to parent more than one child, as both of us value growing up with siblings (Emily with one older sister, and Andy with a younger and older brother). The children in our lives, ranging from newborn to teenagers, are looking forward to welcoming a new addition to our family to play soccer, share music and movies, fish and swim at Andy’s family cabin in Minnesota, and travel with Emily’s relatives to her annual family reunions. Our extended family, composed of our aunts, uncles, cousins, parents and siblings, who mostly live between Chicago, Minnesota, Wisconsin, and Ohio, have supported us by reading books and training materials with us, engaging in questions and conversations about adoption, and preparing to be supportive and accepting to our future children. Both sides of our families have welcomed adopted children with love, and we are looking forward to leaning on our family and friends as we navigate parenting.

We have lived in our home on the Northside of Chicago for 6 years. We’re looking forward to playing with our future children in the surrounding parks and playgrounds in walking distance to our home, as well as walking to Dairy Queen, schools, movie theaters, restaurants, and where we take music lessons and play sports in our neighborhood. Our close friends live down the street and are beginning to have children of their own. We’re honored to be the godparents to our friend’s 10-month-old, and be a part of a community of friends and their growing families.

We have always wanted to be parents and are ready to provide a loving home. We also understand that, at the same time we feel our strong hope to become parents, expectant parent and child will both be experiencing perhaps the most difficult time in their lives. We are prepared to walk alongside a child through life’s grief as well as through life’s celebrations, joys, and growth. We intend to deliver the childhood to our adoptee that we believe every child deserves and have spent 11 years together building the communication skills and loyalty required for a happy and effective parenting team. We won’t be perfect parents, but we will dedicate our lives to loving and raising a child in our household that values wellbeing, education, respect, humor, music, family, and nature. Thank you for reading to get to know us, and we hope to get to know you, as well!

With sincere respect and gratitude,

Emily and Andy

Emily
Andy
Perfect day in Chicago:
If it’s summer: biking to the lakefront or going for a run, jumping in Lake Michigan and laying in the sun, getting ice cream on the way back home, then grilling at home for dinner. In the winter: maybe a snowy walk to get out of the house, or movies and takeout dinner with plenty of reading and snuggling our cats 🙂
Cycle or jog to the lakefront with Emily and jump in for a while. Savor a handmade tamale or three brought straight to the lake in a cooler by a local entrepeneur. Head home and walk to an afternoon Cubs game with friends. Cycle to Asia on Argyle for a big bowl of noodles, and then back down to the Music Box theater to soak in a thought-provoking film. Top the day off with a DQ medium twist cone, and back in bed before 10pm!
What sports team do you root for?
University of Cincinnati Bearcats, Cincinnati Bengals, Cincinnati Reds
Cincinnati Reds, Chicago Bulls/Milwaukee Bucks, University of Cincinnati Bearcats
What’s going to make my spouse a good parent?
Andy is the most reliable and dependable person I know, and his future child will always be able to count on him. Andy also has an incredible depth of knowledge for almost everything; if our future child asks him questions about random things, Andy will either have an answer, or find it out! Conversations with Andy are never boring, and he will keep a child engaged and curious.
Emily has never lost her ability to play. As an adult, she can keep children safe while still getting fully immersed in play with them. It’s true genius how she can connect with even the shyest of children.
What values did your childhood teach you?
I learned the importance of leaning on a community of family members and friends during difficult times, hope, faith, music, appreciation for the outdoors, and humor. I also learned that my passion is helping others, which led me to my career as a child/family therapist!
I learned the value of loyalty to friends and family, seeing things through, hard work, and how to apologize.
Dream family vacation:
Somewhere warm, with plenty of options to hike, swim, and to be exposed to other cultures and ways of life.
Cabin trip, hands down! A nice drive to separate from work and school, beautiful scenery, and lots of piece and quiet. Trout fishing, jumping in cold lakes, learning about animals and plants, roasting marshmallws and stargazing, spending time with extended family. Best of all, knowing that that place will always be there for my children to have such times.
It’s the weekend, what do you want for breakfast?
Eggs over easy made by Andy, toast, and sharing coffee with Andy!
Piping hot coffee, eggs, sunny side up with Frank’s Red Hot, bacon and sausage, multigrain toast, hashbrowns, and some pancakes.
If our future child gets an “F” on a big test, we would respond by…
With lots of empathy and curiosity rather than anger. I want our future children to feel comfortable coming to me and Andy if they’ve made mistakes, and involve them in conversations with what they can change for next time, and how we can support them. I loved school growing up, and I’m looking forward to helping with homework.
I’d start by asking them how they feel about the grade. Then, I’d ask if they understand the material (and why or why not). Depending on their answer, I’d seek more information about other reasons they may have failed the test besides know-how. Lastly, I’d remind them how the accummulation of small successes (or failures) leads to large successes, and wok with them to develop a new plan and remediation of learning needs. We all will fail at something, someday- it’s a good chance to teach them how to fail with integrity, dust off, and get back on a successful path.
What would you say if our future child asks about their adoption story?
We plan to talk about our future child’s adoption openly with them, even as infants, honoring their birth parents and speaking about their birth family with respect at all times. I will validate any feelings of confusion or curiosity, and respond with love and honesty.
I want our child to know their story as completely as is age appropriate. This means having honest answers for all questions, and perhaps delaying answers to others until the best people to answer some of those questions are available. That may include birth mom or birth dad, if they are willing, and/or Emily and I providing answers to those questions together.
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